Is internet dating all there is left?

"is internet dating all there is left"     an article i wrote on hubpages.com, sweet with a bite

All you have to do is turn on the television and you hear it everyday, "1 in 5 relationships is started online." There are many reasons why searching for a partner on the internet has become the "new way to date." Many people find it easier to search through a massive amount of people by flipping through pictures and profiles, than going into the real world. Some people are too busy with work to get out anywhere to find anyone. Even when the time is found, bar hopping, going out to dinner, bowling, church; where is a good place to find someone?

I have been navigating the internet dating scene on and off for the last year and a half.  I met the last boyfriend I had, which lasted about 9 months, from Plenty of Fish.  Plenty of Fish is one of the few dating sites which is free.  It is a massive search engine to find lots of men and find them fast.  You can't complain about there being a lack of people to look for on the site, that is for sure.  However an easy complaint is how ridiculous most people are on there.  I never knew I could find such a large amount of people who don't say what they mean and don't mean what they say.  I think it's turned from a "Dating site" to a "hook-up site"  and those seriously looking for relationships are left behind.  

When the picking gets so slim that it resorts to internet dating, sometime's it may be smart to think again. Is it so bad to be alone? People can be seen as almost anyone they want in a message, a text or even through an attached picture.

Signs in an internet relationship that she's/he's just not that into you, are the following...

a)Even after communicating via the internet for awhile, they do not give out their phone #. Either they secretly are married or in a relationship or they truly not interested in you except for boredom or possibly sex.

b)One sided video chats where they want to see you but their camera is conveniently "broken" and buying one is continuously put off. Either they are not who they say they are, and do not want to reveal their true selves, or they have multiple people watching.

c)Doesn't reply to messages but acts as if no messages were received.

d) the first question asked is "do you have nude pictures or can I see your ________"

e)ONLY messages you at odd hours

Waking up with random thoughts....

Waking up today by my son crawling all over me, "Mama Mama." My day like any other, except a slight ringing in my ear and some minor congestion.  Please don't tell me I'm getting sick this early in the fall.  It was even warm yesterday, cloudy and sometimes a little rainy but warm nonetheless.  All of a sudden I had an urge to do a free-write.  And this is how to came to me, through my mind and with a pen. 

Soul searching, living, learning, never giving up, always up front, honesty is key to serenity, accepting all things, and happiness this brings.  And as the days pass away the inside me chooses to stay, light of heart, emotions never apart from the person I choose to be today.  With hope, love and forgiveness I wake anew today. 

Every day is a new beginning.  Yesterday has past and we don't have to relive it unless by choice, recreating the events in our minds.   While tomorrow holds the future, but today, today is what we make it.  Although I am not feeling the best physically I am going to tough it out, drink some coffee, do some birthday planning for Eli, clean around the house and definitely make some kind of delicious homemade soup.  I could choose to lay around and do nothing, but that just won't do.  So, off I go to be productive :)  I hope everyone has a great day & remember, most of our days are what we make it!   Thanks for reading... 

Settling is a Way of the Past

For years I chose to hide.  Hide behind myself.  Hide from the world.  I wanted to run as far from my past as possible.  Little did I realize, your past cannot be run from because it is carried with you.  The only way to be free of our pasts is to confront it face on, accept it as it was, and let it go in order to move forward.   Moving forward can only be done when this happens.  Confrontation being the worst part of it all.  In this process I have learned a lot about myself.  I have learned for years I have settled with being unhappy with people.  I choose to stay with people out of pity, guilt or loneliness.  Also, chose to stay with my son's father, saying it was for Eli.  But what is best for Eli is mama being happy, not settling for less than we both deserve.  As I look back on my life I see constant settling for being miserable. And I no longer will feed into this habit.  I will not settle for anything less than butterflies, anything short of amazing, and I not only do this for Eli but for myself.  I am now at a point in my life where I am not giving into the lonliness, the need to be wanted and loved.  I am going to keep on keeping on, being honest on the path I am on, with other's and with myself...  And somewhere along the line I will find the man of my dreams.  I am in no rush to do so.  I am on a road that I can only travel alone, conftronting, accepting, embracing, and letting go of all that has haunted me.  I am no longer running from myself and my past, but hitting it straight on.  This may be a hard time in my life but I know this is the only way to happiness.   Accept me as I am or move right along....

Passing Judgement By Outward Appearances

There are many of us quickly passed over and criticized, from our outward appearances.   Funny how a tattoo can be the definition of a hellion, someone out of place, different and hard.  Somehow a drawing on a body portrays this to some.  And that is all it is, drawings on our bodies, which some carefully choose with meaning and significance while other's choose randomness.  Funny how a pair of fishnets make some perceive you as a slut or wearing all black means you must be in a cult.  A bright color in your hair, dreadlocks, a "different" hair cut; and we are all freaks.  Do not judge so easily by the outside appearance of other's.  Our hearts still beat the same, we all experience the same emotions and we all feel the need to be wanted and accepted.  This doesn't mean we should change ourselves to be accepted though.  If you are uncomfortable with the appearance of others, that's your own problem.  I will never bend to someone's will about how I should look, as long as I am happy with myself, that is all that matters.

Where I'm at upstairs...

Tempting fate...
Don't hesitate...


Ready for something amazingly good to drop in my life and stay there for good.  Looking for a job, any job at this point...   I've been driving all over North Carolina trying to find one.  Where are they?  Well, most of them are nonexistent.  But I am not giving up.  Whether I use my degree or not it doesn't matter to me. At this point I need work so that I can get my son in daycare for him to get the social development he needs SUPER BAD!   And I am not gonna lie, I need a break from him...   if you can consider work a break?  lol.  Time makes the heart grow fonder and with the terrible two's already beginning I need a little outside help.  Finding a job and a good daycare is now my top priority.

Confronting reality...

Coming to a realization of who I am, what I want and where I will go from here.  I've come to a point in my life where I have become aware that I have been running... running from my past.  I have been running so long that I don't even know where to begin.   I've hid behind things.  I've hid from myself for years.   Confronting the terrible things that shaped my depression, my insecurities, my weaknesses, and my personality is the hardest thing I have ever had to face.  I can't even fathom how to do it.  I want to run again...  and I don't.   I want to be happy.  I want to be loved, accepted and I want to love and accept someone.

So, what now?  Where do I go from here?

Don't let your garden go to waste, can it!

I wrote a hub on hubpages.com about my gigantic garden this year and how to can and preserve it!  This summer has been a fruitful one and my garden is still flourishing.  I am so blessed that I was able to do this and also able keep it going and thriving.   The article or "hub" rather, is as pasted below.   I am going to be adding to it as I am still learning and making new recipes every week!

http://sweetwithabite.hubpages.com/hub/dontwaste-canit


Thanks all!

Bekah