Waking up with random thoughts....

Waking up today by my son crawling all over me, "Mama Mama." My day like any other, except a slight ringing in my ear and some minor congestion.  Please don't tell me I'm getting sick this early in the fall.  It was even warm yesterday, cloudy and sometimes a little rainy but warm nonetheless.  All of a sudden I had an urge to do a free-write.  And this is how to came to me, through my mind and with a pen. 

Soul searching, living, learning, never giving up, always up front, honesty is key to serenity, accepting all things, and happiness this brings.  And as the days pass away the inside me chooses to stay, light of heart, emotions never apart from the person I choose to be today.  With hope, love and forgiveness I wake anew today. 

Every day is a new beginning.  Yesterday has past and we don't have to relive it unless by choice, recreating the events in our minds.   While tomorrow holds the future, but today, today is what we make it.  Although I am not feeling the best physically I am going to tough it out, drink some coffee, do some birthday planning for Eli, clean around the house and definitely make some kind of delicious homemade soup.  I could choose to lay around and do nothing, but that just won't do.  So, off I go to be productive :)  I hope everyone has a great day & remember, most of our days are what we make it!   Thanks for reading... 

Confronting reality...

Coming to a realization of who I am, what I want and where I will go from here.  I've come to a point in my life where I have become aware that I have been running... running from my past.  I have been running so long that I don't even know where to begin.   I've hid behind things.  I've hid from myself for years.   Confronting the terrible things that shaped my depression, my insecurities, my weaknesses, and my personality is the hardest thing I have ever had to face.  I can't even fathom how to do it.  I want to run again...  and I don't.   I want to be happy.  I want to be loved, accepted and I want to love and accept someone.

So, what now?  Where do I go from here?